Inside the Head of Master Nicholas

Scene: Daddy and Nicky in bed.
Daddy: Nicky it's quiet time
{10 minutes later}
Nicky: Excuse me Daddy. Excuse me, but can you touch an octopus?
Daddy: Yeah
Nicky: Ok,  just not a jelly fish.

Scene: Sunday afternoon. Dan has to do expense reports

Daddy: I have to work

Nicky: Why

Daddy: Because my boss told me I had to

Nicky: No one tells daddy what to do

Mommy: Well, Mommy does

Nicky: No

Mommy: Yes

Nicky: No mommy

Mommy: Yes

Nicky: NO Mommy., no one tells Daddy what to do. Never

Scene: In the car, Nicky talking about monster trucks, Brandon pointing out Big Trucks.

Nicky: "...and then Monster trucks, blah blah monster trucks..."

Brandon: Ohh big truck!

Nicky: Stop saying Big trucks Brandon. Monster trucks, blah blah blah.

{Then Dan gets pulled over}

Daddy: Crap, I just got pulled over

Nicky: Daddy why where you driving so fast? Did you get a ticket? Do you have to go to time out? Are you going to go slow? And then go fast? Look daddy, those cars are going really fast. Those are bad cars. Are you going fast? The Police man is going to catch them. {Sneezes} Bless me. Can I see the ticket. Are you going a little fast next time? Here you go mommy. {Hands me ticket}. Thank you.

Scene: Mommy and Nicky at Target.

Mommy: Nicky can I have a sip

Nicky: You should have got your own

Scene: Nicky on the potty:

Nicky: This is a really hard one, but it's coming out fast. I can hear it. It's coming. Its sounds like this. {Makes a face and grunts.} Sometimes it's big. {Roxy walks in} Hi Roxy. She's a good girl. {Brandon walks in} Hi Brandon. Do you have to go? Ok, Mommy all done. {hops off pot and looks inside} Oh wow look mom, it's a dinosaur bone one!